Communication Do’s & Don’ts
- It is always helpful to know some of the destructive methods of communication used between couples, but later regretted. If you want to create a strong, caring relationship avoid blaming, threatening, power battles, unequal situations, and don’t be judgmental.
- The silent treatment – this method of communicating is about as effective as trying to sell life insurance to dead people! Stonewalling means refusing to communicate, storming out of the room, or any kind of withdrawing. When a person is stonewalling, communication is impossible because he or she is refusing to participate. So stop sulking and start talking!
- Keep trust, respect, fairness and your care of the other person foremost in your mind, and this attitude will guide you through the tangle that we call love.
- Of course, when we are stressed, depressed, unwell, tired, or anxious, the awareness and mindfulness we need to practice when we communicate with our loved ones becomes that much more difficult. These times call for patience and compassion from others.
- Communication difficulties are also exacerbated by the use of alcohol – how many thoughtless things have been said, and people’s feelings hurt, when people have been drinking?
Learning how to clearly communicate to your partner what you feel, want and need, and to truly listen to others, is the ‘art’ of communication and not something that we come into the world equipped with. It is learned, using consciousness, commitment and practice, and by knowing yourself – a lifelong task, but a great journey!