I have learned with time that we are indeed all so different and that our love languages are different too. Shoukey’s love language is acts of kindness and service which means he performs certain actions which expresses how he feels e.g. The willingness to help with chores, with being ‘available’ on all levels whenever I need him. However when it came to sharing from the heart with words, I initially felt that this was a one-sided affair since I have always have been open to share with words how he makes me feel. With time however, I realised that even though Shoukey does not express emotions as powerfully as I do, he does indeed express it in his actions.
Often, I feel compelled to share what I feel at that given point and I almost read his expression for a response. He does this amazing thing with his mouth – almost re-adjusting it in an attempt to hide his shyness and then responds to me with a light hearted comment – something either quaint or funny in an attempt to diffuse an almost awkward moment. With time, I became aware of how my sometimes depth sharing makes him feel. He becomes extremely shy (strange but true) and I found it extremely cute! I would deliberately do it to see what my loving husband would cough up at that time.
He had in a short space of time become my best friend. I was aware that he was different from the rest and appreciated that he had come to teach me more about myself and to shed light, clarity and wisdom on anything unresolved I may face. It was not just a conventional relationship. It was a conscious relationship something we chose at the beginning. It was not something we intended to enjoy for a short while but something we deliberately chose to design from scratch till the end of our time together.
A Conscious relationship is: Understanding that during moments of anger and frustration with Shoukey is when he has a treasure of insight to offer, its seeing that when he doesn’t respond the way I want that he is responding as best he can, its breaking into laughter when I share my heart saying, “Baby it frustrates me when I feel such intense love for you all of the time….its like a virus. What can I do to quit feeling this way?’ And he responds with a smirk saying, “Flutex my angel….flutex!”